Relationships: Want vs. Need

I think it’s such a important part of our individual growth when we can learn to distinguish whether we want something because it’s available and fills a certain gap within us, or whether we want something because deep down in our hearts we know it for a fact that that’s what we need.

Once you can face your fears head on, accept them, and work through them, you become one step closer towards reaching true inner bliss. For someone that has continuously been in a relationship after relationship and for someone who isn’t afraid of being vulnerable and welcoming love when it comes knocking, it’s hard to realize that maybe this time I truly need a change of pace. That maybe I’m not ready to open myself up for attachment at the moment. That maybe I don’t want to jump into something so fast knowing that I’m a very complex being and knowing that I need someone very special in my life who knows and understands me.

I mean what’s so wrong in wanting to share your life with someone who knows exactly what you’re feeling and why and what they can do to cheer you up or help you through it. Is that asking for too much? I mean isn’t that what a soulmate is supposed to be, your other half, the one who understands you better than you understand yourself?

The world is such a busy and hectic and difficult place to figure out and to live in, why is it seen as too much to ask to have someone who you don’t need to explain yourself to, someone who allows you to just sit back and relax from overworking yourself to be who the world needs you to be, and rather be the person that you need to be, the person that you are, the person that this someone loves for exactly that reason, you being you.


“Leaving is not…

“Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries. Don’t lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.”

Frida Kahlo