An Ode to the Idealistic Hopeless Romantic Soul

For anyone that suffers from being a hopeless romantic, here goes something I wrote two years ago:

I know what I want.
It took me a few trials and errors,
But I know what I want.
I want you.
I know what makes me truly happy now.
You make me happy.
Just thinking of you, makes my problems go away.
When I’m frustrated with the rest of the world,
I can always count on you to put a smile on my face.
They might think they know you, but they really don’t.
But I’m glad.
Getting to know you has made me appreciate you all the more.
Mannerisms that I used to think were flaws,
are now seen through new eyes.
To me they are not flaws anymore, but silly quirks
that I love being able to recognize.
It’s hard going on about my daily routine, knowing I can’t fully be with you.
Knowing that at the end of the day, I’m going to bed alone,
with no one to hold and kiss goodnight.
Knowing that it might be another two weeks until I see you next.
But I have faith.
I have faith in love.
I have faith that we’ll get our chance.
If there’s one valuable lesson that I’ve learned so far, from being with you
is that, patience really is a virtue and that I am capable of being patient.
A lot can change in a year, and things between us can change,
And if that were to happen, well, my heart wouldn’t be the same,
but I would be happy in the end,
just knowing how much you’ve changed me, for the better.
How much you’ve taught me.
How much I’ve learned, about life and love, about me, about you,
and about doing what makes you happy.
Life goes on, and no matter what happens,
I’ll never forget you because as they say,
One never forgets their first love.

-L. Silahísa

 

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They try to help but they just don’t understand

In the shadows lurk all of my deepest thoughts.
They come out when they think I should be asleep,
But they’re wrong; I’m wide awake.

Into the late hours of the night lurk all of my memories.
My subconscious must hate me because instead of opening up the good ones,
She sends me the ones I don’t dare to open while awake.

In the dark I lay processing all of this.
These thoughts about him.
These memories from better days.

I think something is wrong with my body.

Don’t they know the difference of when I’m asleep versus when I’m awake?

Although maybe it’s me that’s the problem…maybe it’s because I’ve turned my days into nights and my nights into days.
Maybe it’s because I’m trying so hard to get away from these thoughts and memories, but they don’t understand.
They want to help, but they don’t see that they’re hurting me.

I’ve tried stopping them. I’ve tried running away from them but…

I think it’s time I confront them head on.

Is that light ahead?

-L. Silahísa